http://russkylondon.com/sites/default/files/styles/maximum/public/%20%20londoners%201.jpg?itok=LlD6Kn_R
29/07/15

Лондонцы: что они на самом деле имеют в виду

London Surviving Guide. Продолжаем изучать повадки лондонцев в их естественной среде обитания. И, кстати, это еще один тест на то, настоящий ли вы лондонец

 

"- Могу я спросить, куда сэр так торопится?

- В Манчестер, сэр!

- В таком случае, сэр, Вам было бы ближе через кухню…»

Кто не помнит этот бородатый анекдот об английской вежливости! Но знаем ли мы, что на самом деле происходит в этот момент в загадочной английской душе? Лондонцы, конечно, специфический подвид, но тем не менне, эти наблюдения помогают заглянуть в бездны переменчивого и капризного английского характера.  

   

#1. Londoners say: ‘The bus takes longer but it’s a nice chance to relax.’

They actually mean: ‘I don’t have a Travelcard and I’m too broke for the tube.’

#2. Londoners say: ‘Oh, can’t complain really. You?’ 

Londoners mean: ‘I am two-to-three large glasses of wine away from complaining at enormous length about everything.’

#3. Londoners say: ‘Ah, sorry: it’s actually no standing on the left on escalators.’ 

Londoners mean: ‘GET OUT OF MY CITY, TOURIST SCUM.’

#4. Londoners say: ‘Yeah, it’s really nice.’

Londoners mean: ‘WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY FRINGE?’

#5. Londoners say: ‘I’m popping out to grab some lunch, anyone want anything?’

Londoners mean: ‘Please come with me so I have someone to talk to in the horrendously long queue at Leon.’

#6. Londoners say: ‘Oh, my new area’s great. It’s really quirky and authentic.’

Londoners mean: ‘When I walk to the Londis, I fear for my life.’

#7. Londoners say: ‘TAXI!’

Londoners mean: ‘God, I hate surge pricing.’

#8. Londoners say: ‘I am literally ten minutes away.’

Londoners mean: ‘I am at home in my pants.’

#9. Londoners say: ‘Oh, I’ve actually got to go to Boots before I go home.’

Londoners mean: ‘I don’t want to have to spend the entire tube journey making small talk with you.’

#10. Londoners say: ‘I love you’

Londoners mean: ‘I want you to pay half my rent.’

#11. Londoners say: ‘I think service is already included.’

Londoners mean: ‘Please god, don’t let me have to pay any more money for this meal.’

12. Londoners say: ‘Sorry! I’m in a rush!’

Londoners mean: ‘Dream on, chugger. Dream on.’

#13. Londoners say: ‘Sorry! I was in the tube!’

Londoners mean: ‘Thank god for airplane mode.’

#14. Londoners say: ‘How’s your meal, sir?’ 

Londoners mean: ‘I really don’t care about you, your dinner or a potential career in the services industry.’

#15. Londoners say: ‘I love Meetup groups!’

Londoners mean: ‘This way I don’t have to tell anyone I joined a dating site!’

#16. Londoners say: ‘We’ve been here forever, and it’s really sad to see the area getting completely gentrified.’

They actually mean: ‘Mmm... sourdough.’

#17. Londoners say: ‘I’m working late – I’ll finish soon!’

Londoners mean: ‘I’ll leave work drinks when I’m good and ready.’

#18. Londoners say: ‘Excuse me, is anyone sitting there?'

Londoners mean: ‘You have five seconds to move your bag off the seat before I throw it onto the floor. And stamp on it.’

#19. Londoners say: ‘Wow, crazy, so great to bump into you! We definitely should catch up properly over a pint! Soon!’

Londoners mean: ‘That was awkward. Now farewell, for this is the very last time our paths will cross in this life.’

#20. Londoners say: ‘Sorry!’

Londoners mean: ‘Everything and anything but ‘sorry’, including ‘fuck off’, ‘get out of my way’, and ‘I’m going to pretend that I tried to hold the lift doors for you even though the thought of sharing this space with one other sweating, anxious potential farter is so disgusting that I just pressed close 10 times instead.’

 

Time.out

_________________

ЧИТАЙТЕ ТАКЖЕ:

28 ПРИЗНАКОВ НАСТОЯЩЕГО ЛОНДОНЦА

10 ВЕЩЕЙ, КОТОРЫЕ ВАМ НУЖНО ЗНАТЬ О ЛОНДОНЕ

НАМ С НИМИ НЕ РАЗГОВАРИВАТЬ ПО ДУШАМ И НЕ СИДЕТЬ В ОДНОЙ ЛОДКЕ

 

http://russkylondon.com/sites/default/files/styles/maximum/public/%20%20londoners%201.jpg?itok=LlD6Kn_R